Mutants and Slayers and Ricky Martin... oh crap.
by Yami no Miko
Summary: Just a little random crossover insanity. Please read! Remember that the world needs a little more insanity!


  
Mutants and Slayers and Ricky Martin... oh crap.  
  
By Yami-chan (and not Xellos!)  
  
With technical assistance from my muse, Pepper (and also a lot of bruises, too).  
  
Yami-chan: Bwahahaha! I will soon take over the- what??!! I'm on!!?? Why didn't you --cking tell me? Okay. ::turns to audience:: That's right. I don't own anything in this fic (except myself and a certain character from Winter in Westchester that you'll have to read to know who it is. Bwahahaha! Oh, I did it again, didn't I? Well, it doesn't matter. ::grins evilly:: I will soon own the... oh yeah, still on. Read it already!  
  
Part 1- When Worlds Collide   
  
It was a beautiful day in Westchester, New York. Well, actually, it was mediocre (seeing as Storm was out of town on a... business meeting), but to the female students of the Xavier Institute (and not a few teachers), everything was perfect.  
  
That's right, today was graduation. Now, why did I mention only the female students? you ask. That is for one simple reason. Somehow, the Professor managed to trick... er, talk Ricky Martin into singing at the party after graduation. Oh yeah, it was great to have a telepath for a principle. Sometimes.   
  
  
  
Meanwhile, in the site where Sairaag had once stood, a group of adventurers headed by Lina Inverse were recovering from beating Fibrizo (I haven't gotten a chance to see Slayers Try. Gomenasai!).  
  
"Gourry-chan, just what happened while you and Lina were alone up there," Sylphiel started on her over-protective love speech," and why don't you have your Sword of LightTM ? Did Lina sell it to the Lord of Nightmares?" Sylphiel gave Lina a pissed look.  
  
"I... don't... know." Gourry answered. His wit, as usual, was astounding.  
  
Sylphiel gasped. "Oh, so that flat-chested witch brainwashed you?" (yes, I know that dear, sweet, about to pop from kept-up feelings would never say that {why do you think her voice is so high-pitched?}, but for funniness, all those of you who think I am going way out of character go jump off a cliff)  
  
At this point, Yami-chan popped into the story (a little self-insertion never hurt, ne?) and proceeded to have a huge argument with Sylphiel for her treatment of Lina (after all, no one disses on Lina). When the brutal cat-fight was over and the war won, they both retired to sitting on either sides of Gourry, Sylphiel taking one huge, hulking arm in hers.  
  
Yami-chan just stuck out a tongue in her direction and waited for Xellos to show up. She knew he had to sooner or later.  
  
"Well, at least now we can relax." Zelgadis sighed contentedly.  
  
Everyone in the troupe (that's right! I'm comparing them to baboons! Bwahaha!) looked at Zelgadis with an eyebrow raised.  
  
Zel sweatdropped.  
  
"What? I can be happy once in a while, can't I??!!" he shouted.  
  
Lina suddenly pulled out a huge book entitled, "The Big Book of Rules of the Slayers Universe (done in Hentai format)" and flipped through it.  
  
"Um, actually," Lina stated,"it says here you always have to be pissed at something or other, usually Xellos."  
  
Zel grabbed the big naughty book.  
  
"Just who wrote this crap!" he shouted, then turned to the title page and said,"oh."  
  
On the page, it said the title, then, in little teensy print underneath, "By Xellos the Trickster Priest."  
  
"Damn Mazoku fruitcake," Zel mumbled under his breath.  
  
"What was that Zelgadis-san?" Amelia said, starting to get worked up for ne of her justice spiels, "the great Star of Justice... blah blah blah... sacrifice... kill the reader...blah blah blah." (actually, these little things annoy the great author very much, and piss her right the --ll off)  
  
Finally, noting that it was dark, she finished with, "And potty language sucks."  
  
This woke everyone up with a collective, "WHAT!!??"  
  
Before Lina could throttle Amelia for "hypocricy", as she put it, Gourry looked up to see a big white swirling vortex in the sky.  
  
"Hey guys," he started, "what's that big white swirly thing in the sky?"  
  
"Uh oh." came from the rest of the crew.  
  
And with that, all of the Slayers (including that fox Xellos, who had just popped up to bug them) got sucked into the hole and landed on a stage during... a Ricky Martin concert???  
  
Fortunately for her (and unfortunately for Ricky), Lina landed right on the Puerto Rican sexkitten... er, singer himself, interrupting his performance of "The Cup of Life" (the author's favorite Ricky Martin song).  
  
  
Well, sorry to leave you with a cliff-hanger (what does that mean, by the way? Who the hell hangs off a cliff?), but... well, actually, I'm not! It just makes sure you have to keep reading! Bwahahaha! 


End file.
